It’s a lonely post being a new mom. So much hussle and bustle over the baby, diapers, feedings, and visitors. But most of the time, it’s just you and baby. For me, the realization that I am mostly alone has come hard and fast. Of course, I’m not alone – I have my husband and my parents and others who surely love us – but somehow, it still feels lonely. It’s just me up at all hours suffering over trying to breastfeed through awful pain, just me at home when the baby won’t sleep, and just me who is so exhausted that I don’t feel exhausted anymore. I’m sure every new mom goes through this but it sure does feel like I’m the only one.
I would love to do 2 things: 1 – feed the baby formula so I wouldn’t dread the hour that happens every 3 hours (but I won’t, I shall press on) and 2 – go back to church. Of course, if I did go to church, I just know I would either sit at the back and cry or stand in front of the icon of the Theotokos and cry there! Either way, I surely wouldn’t be able to hold it together. Hopefully it will be better in 2 weeks when we do go back, so I don’t totally embarrass myself!
Most Holy Theotokos save us!